Happy Oils for Happy Mothers Part Two – Forgiveness

Part One: Orange

Part Two: Forgiveness

Part Three: Harmony

This is the second of a 3-part series of oils for happy mothers that was done over the Let’s Add Oil group with Facebook Live. Original video link here!

forgiveness

So my second oil of choice for happy mothers is Forgiveness. I was actually saying earlier, that some of my choices for these 3 days are kinda odd, but I will explain. First and foremost right, I’m going to get really personal here and tell you more about myself and my background to help you understand more about forgiveness and why it’s so important in our lives. I think whenever people think about the oil Forgiveness, I think the impression they have is, “oh it’s because I have this big grudge against somebody, who  did something really wrong to me, and I need to forgive the person.” I would tell you how forgiveness is so important to me and when you hear my story, perhaps it might bring out something relevant for you as well.

Firstly, some of my friends may already know as I don’t really keep it a secret, but when I was a teenager, I was actually a victim of molest. It was really a big thing at that time and I was traumatised. It happened when I was a teenage and it was actually a relative that did it to me.  And I can tell you that I spent many many years after the whole incident holding that hatred and the grudge against him. Unfortunately for myself, while I am fully justified in having those kind of feelings, it actually held me back from a lot of things. And when people asked me how I felt about it, the same old feelings will come up again. I will feel that hatred, that anger, that frustration, and it was preventing me from moving forward in life. There were times where I actually was not able to trust people because of what happened to me, even though it was not like a similar case, it still crept in.

When I was in my early 20s, which is how long I actually held on to all these negative emotions, I read a book on forgiveness. The first thing the book said was that when you are forgiving that person who has done wrong against you, it’s not that you actually condone the wrongdoing, but it’s actually giving yourself permission to free up your mind against what has been done to you. And when I read that, I totally disagreed, I thought I was justified to hold on to my anger towards this person.

It took me a few months for me to digest what I read from the book and I learnt that by not moving past that memory, is actually allowing that relative of mine to live, “rent-free” in my brain for that long. Not only that, it was affecting my life. The anger and frustration were creeping into my life, affecting my family life as well.

So I worked on that issue for quite a bit, actually. I worked on my feelings and I told myself that it is only right that I want to move on from this and so that was how I started. So right now, if you ask me what had happened in the past when I was being molested, I can definitely tell you the details, but do I feel any angst over it? No, I don’t, because I have already settled that part and I think that that is the greatest gift I can give myself, to allow myself to move forward and release all the feelings.

I will talk about another part on forgiveness before I move on to the oils in this blend. The other thing I want all of you to know, is that whether you are a mother, or not a mother, or maybe a parent, the thing is this, a lot of us are the hardest on ourselves. So forgiveness is something that I would want to apply to myself too. Let me tell you this, I am a guilt addict. For example, if anything goes wrong in my day, the first automatic reaction is to say “It’s my fault, what can I do to make it right?” And I realised that when I became a mother, the tendency to take on guilt actually magnified and that I learnt it from my mother.

Taking on the guilt bring with it feelings of regret, frustration and resentment. Let me give you an example, probably a common example that parents experience as well.

So when I go out with my friends, when I have a social life and have a good time, a lot of times, I feel a lot of guilt. “Why am I not at home with my family and kids? Why I am not there for my kids? I should be the one that is putting them to sleep and not my husband. I am a mother right, a mother has everlasting love for her children.” So with the resentment and frustration that came with that guilt. I will think that I’m not a good enough mother and when I try to be the mother that I hold as the ideal in my mind, the resentment and frustration comes in. “Oh I don’t have enough selfcare for myself. Oh I don’t have time for myself, I have no time to work out as well.” For myself right, that is how I use the Forgiveness oil.

My husband Jon has said this to me before and it has hit me right in the solar plexus, “Faith, do you know you’re very hard on yourself?” And it shocked me because I didn’t realise that. So for all you mothers out there, if you’re like me and you take on all the guilt and you’re very hard on yourself, if you beat yourself up, “I should have done this for my kids. I should have done that for my work.” Please don’t. Everyone of us over here are so deserving of love, blessings and forgiveness for ourselves.

So those are 2 stories around forgiveness, guilt and traumatic memories from my past. Let’s now go on into the properties of the oil itself. Forgiveness is a blend, and if you look at your essential oil resources, whether it’s the pocket reference or the mobile app, you will realise that there are so many, so many oils inside. There is easily about 10 oils inside but the one that really stuck out for me, are actually the lady oils, like Rose, Jasmine and Melissa. And when I read through the properties of each oil and looked at why Gary Young put those oils into this blend, it made perfect sense.

First and foremost, Rose. When you talk about the frequency of the oils, Rose is formally recognised as the one of the highest frequency. I know it’s in debate now that it might actually be Idaho Blue Spruce with a higher frequency, but in terms of formal documentation, it’s Rose. If you have never tried Rose, I suggest you go and rob, beg, steal, borrow Rose oil and try it. Somehow it really lifts up a person. I know that whenever I feel down, the smell of Rose really just lifts me up. When my child is cranky and really nothing else works, not Tranquil, not Peace and Calming, not Lavender, my husband who loves Rose so much, actually uses Rose on them and they calm down pretty darn quickly. With Rose’s high frequency, it invites love and joy into your life. So if you’re working through forgiveness and you are trying to work through the memories that hurt, and the negative emotions, that’s what Rose is for, in the Forgiveness blend.

The second oil is Jasmine, because sometimes if you’re grappling with letting go of things, you might feel helpless. Jasmine, besides being emotionally balancing, also helps one to work through the helplessness and invites you to take back the power in your life

The third lady oil is Melissa. I don’t know if you’ve heard me talking about Melissa before but when I was at the Young Living farm, that was the St Marie’s Farm at Idaho. Gary came and told the story of Melissa. If you look at the price tag of Melissa at the Young Living office, you will realise that after Rose, Melissa is the second highest priced oil. Melissa, also known as Lemon Balm, is a very delicate oil. When Melissa is being planted and harvested, it is an oil that demands everyone to treat her like a lady. And what I mean is that, when the farm workers are planting and harvesting the Melissa plant, they must be very mindful to be courteous to one another, they must not pick fights or use vulgar language because things like that actually affect the yield of the Melissa oil. And already the yield of the oil is very low, you’re talk about tons and tons of plants to give you that small bottle of oil.

Another thing is that, for Melissa, when the farm workers harvest the plant, they cannot put the plant down on the ground before gathering everything up to bring to the distillery. They have to cut it and bring it straight to the distillery because no lady wants to be put down on the ground as it actually decreases the yield too.

Other stuff like how Melissa is a plant that has to have people around her during certain times of the day, and how she doesn’t like to be out in the hot sun like a lady with very delicate skin so she wants to be there only in the early morning. So because of the amount of resources and dedication that has to be put into cultivating this plant, it has driven up the cost of the Melissa oil.

So if you’re ever lucky enough to score a bottle of Melissa, use it! I can’t really go into the other properties of Melissa because it’s not FDA compliant but I invite you to read your Essential Oil References to really learn more about it. It’s really darn good.

Negative emotions are actually stored in the limbic system and the limbic brain. The only way, if I’m not mistaken, that can unlock and release the negative emotions stored in the limbic brain is actually through scent and smells. That’s the reason why the oils are so powerful, because they actually work by going through the nose to reach the limbic system.

If you look at the other oils in this blend like Frankincense and Sandalwood, these are the oils that actually work on your pineal gland and limbic system to release the memories as you don’t want these to be stored in your brain. A lot of times, when we store such emotions in ourselves, it actually leads to illnesses. If I’ve a chance next time, I will share with you the story of my abscess, I just went through surgery and I’m finally done with the stitches. I will also explain to you why I would say that it came from negative memories as well. So I would encourage you all, if you are going through something like this, please work through your emotions, memories and and feelings. Use the oils, talk to somebody, journal in your book, because I think that everyone of us is very deserving of living a beautiful, lovely and blessed life.

I think that’s about it, actually. I know it’s a really odd oil to choose for Mothers’ Day and for happy mothers but I do think that when we work through our stuff, we are happier! And you know what? Our children will also benefit from forgiveness too.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

QNA

How do you apply Forgiveness?

You see right, for me, anything to do with emotions, I would say just apply on your forehead, on the back of your neck and you can put it over your chest. But the pocket reference book says you can diffuse, directly inhale, add 2-4 drops to bath water, or you can apply 1-2 drops behind the ears, wrists, neck, temples, navel or the solar plexus. Or even over the heart. You can also dilute it if you want to, but I don’t. So that’s how you can apply it.

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Happy Oils for Happy Mothers Part One – Orange

Part One: Orange

Part Two: Forgiveness

Part Three: Harmony

This is the first of a 3-part series of oils for happy mothers that was done over the Let’s Add Oil FB group with Facebook Live. Original video link here!

orange

I was talking about celebrating Mothers’ Day and I thought it would be really cool to showcase some oils that I personally think are oils that made me happy as a mother. I’ve been a mother since 2012, and my first born, Juvia is 3.5 years old and my son, Sol just turned 1 last month.

When I first became a mother, I thought, “Wow it’s going to be great! I’m going to be this dedicated, loving mother!” Then I got into really being a mother I realised that it’s so different! There are times where I was driven crazy by my kids, and while my kids have taught me a lot about myself and I’m so appreciative of that, I also realised that as a mom, it’s really about having that kind of patience and endurance with my kids. Especially since I’m almost 40 years old and my kids are so young and they can outrun me and out energise me anytime.

The first oil I want to talk about is Orange. Why did I pick Orange? I find it very interesting that when we talk about taking oils in water, right, the favourite oil is Lemon. In fact, Lemon went out of stock and came back recently. So I think most people take Lemon in water, but I actually take Orange. I really like the smell of Orange, just smelling it perks me up and lifts my mood. To be really honest, before I came on to this broadcast, I was feeling sluggish and not in the best of moods, so I took a drop of Orange, rubbed it between my palms and just inhaled. Wow just the mere smell of it already perks me up and makes me really happy, energises and cheers me up.

Okay, let’s talk about the other usages of Orange. You may already know if you ever have a tummy upset after spicy food, or when your kids are getting used to solids from milk, they have constipation or even diarrhea and you have been using Digize or even TummyGize, but did you know that Orange is a very good oil for digestion as well? So if you find that you have ran out of Digize, or if it’s not with you, you can also try Orange. And to be really honest right, if you look at the price difference, I think for Singapore members right now, Orange is around SGD18 or something like that. And in terms of smell, I will definitely tell you that I like the smell of Orange a lot better.

If you find that you want your kids to sleep, of course there are great oils for sleep like Lavender, Gentle Baby, Peace and Calming, but one really good combination is actually Cedarwood and Orange. Some people find that Cedarwood smells like cats’ pee, but because Cedarwood does such a good job at promoting sleep, what you can do is to combine Cedarwood with Orange to mask the woody smell of Cedarwood. Or even Cedarwood and Lavender. I’ve tried Cedarwood with Orange and it is really really nice, kind like going into a fruity forest and smelling the really nice, juicy smell in the bedroom when you are drifting off to sleep.

If you are a mother and you find that you have been shouting at your kids, and your vocal chords are strained, you can apply Orange to relax your throat. This is actually a very good tip for parents, especially if you have cheeky kids like mine, running all around.

If you’re worried that your kid is a picky eater and doesn’t want to eat the food that you’ve cooked, Orange is actually an appetite booster as well. You can diffuse it in the dining room or you can rub it on their tummies to promote their appetites. Come to think of it, I always drink Orange in my water, maybe that’s the reason why I’m not losing any weight. Other good oils for appetite include Lemongrass and Spearmint, but if Spearmint is too minty, then use Orange.

If you find that your skin complexion is dull or oily, or if you want to hide your wrinkles, you can add Orange to your moisturiser to boost your skin. Any citrus oil is great for oil control and you can use it for wrinkles as well. So I know that one of the top favourite oils for skin out there is Frankincense, but if you’re on a budget, and you are looking for something cheap and good, you can try Orange.

Another thing is that, if you have body odour and you smell quite funky in the armpits, you can try Orange. I know that Lemon and Lime can help to lighten the armpit area but I’m not so sure about Orange but you can give it a try. I do know that as a deodorant, Orange works well.

You can also take Orange to maintain a healthy cholesterol level. The other thing to note is that Orange is a great booster for immunity. Google this word, “glutathione”, this is actually the mother of all antioxidants. I can’t really say any further what it does for compliance reasons, but Orange helps to support our bodies to produce glutathione.

Another to know is that Orange supports the liver and helps you to detox as well. So besides being known as a master antioxidant, it is also a great liver detoxifier. You apply it over your liver, which is on the right side of your tummy, just apply it like once or twice a day. It is especially good when we are stressed at work, when there is pollution in the air, and when we eat a lot of processed foods in our diet.

If you have water retention like me, if you have puffy fingers, you can try soaking in warm water with Orange. I generally prefer to take Orange in water to minimise the water retention.

Some people ask, “oh if I use Orange, will I be allergic to it?”.

One thing to note for all Young Living Essential Oils is, the chances of having an allergic reaction, like rashes from allergy is quite small. But I also want to say that for Orange and other citrus oils, is a bit different. Most oils are steam distilled from the plant, but for citrus oils, they take the rind, and cold-press it to get the oil. So in that sense, if you talk about Orange, it’s not a true essential oil because it is cold-pressed from the rind. So if you are allergic to orange the fruit, then you may want to avoid Orange essential oil. Same goes for all the citrus oils like Lemon, Yuzu, Bergamot, Grapefruit and Tangerine.

The last thing is that, once you open your bottle, finish it up within 2 years. It can actually evaporate over time and you shouldn’t be keeping your oils for 2 years lah, you should be using everything up. 🙂

 

QNA

When applying Orange on face, do I need to avoid sunlight?

Because Orange is a citrus oil, and citrus oils are photosensitive, when you are applying on the face, you want do so during the evening hours. If you’re doing it in the morning, you want to keep out of the sunlight for the next 12 hours, otherwise when you go out in the sun, the oils will make your skin darker. It’s not permanent, but you don’t want to get dark patches here and there. If you want to play safe, just apply your citrus oils on your face, or anywhere that is prone to sun exposure, in the evening and just go and sleep. You will be safe with that.

 

How many drops of Orange in water when you consume it?

My bottle of water is about 1 litre, so if you’re starting out, you might want to do 5 drops in 1 litre. You can go up to 10 0r 15 drops, it’s really up to you. I kinda do about 10 drops in 1 litre of water. You also want to make sure that before you serve yourself a cup of water, shake it. What happens is that, when you drip in Orange, after a while, the oil will float to the top, so if you just drink like that, you will be taking in all the oil at the top. If your lips feel a burning sensation when drinking citrus oils in water, it is a sign that you need to shake your water before you drink or use a metal straw.

Another thing is that because you are drinking water with citrus oils, you want to use like a metal, ceramic or a glass cup or bottle. Don’t use plastic. If you use plastic, what happens is that, over time, your plastic will blur and start to corrode. This is because citrus oils and other essential oils actually leech out the petrochemicals from the plastic itself and you don’t want to be drinking that.

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If you like my articles and would like to purchase the Young Living oils, please drop me a message here or sign up here to purchase. 🙂 I would love to support you in using the oils for yourself and your loved ones.