So my second oil of choice for happy mothers is Forgiveness. I was actually saying earlier, that some of my choices for these 3 days are kinda odd, but I will explain. First and foremost right, I’m going to get really personal here and tell you more about myself and my background to help you understand more about forgiveness and why it’s so important in our lives. I think whenever people think about the oil Forgiveness, I think the impression they have is, “oh it’s because I have this big grudge against somebody, who did something really wrong to me, and I need to forgive the person.” I would tell you how forgiveness is so important to me and when you hear my story, perhaps it might bring out something relevant for you as well.
Firstly, some of my friends may already know as I don’t really keep it a secret, but when I was a teenager, I was actually a victim of molest. It was really a big thing at that time and I was traumatised. It happened when I was a teenage and it was actually a relative that did it to me. And I can tell you that I spent many many years after the whole incident holding that hatred and the grudge against him. Unfortunately for myself, while I am fully justified in having those kind of feelings, it actually held me back from a lot of things. And when people asked me how I felt about it, the same old feelings will come up again. I will feel that hatred, that anger, that frustration, and it was preventing me from moving forward in life. There were times where I actually was not able to trust people because of what happened to me, even though it was not like a similar case, it still crept in.
When I was in my early 20s, which is how long I actually held on to all these negative emotions, I read a book on forgiveness. The first thing the book said was that when you are forgiving that person who has done wrong against you, it’s not that you actually condone the wrongdoing, but it’s actually giving yourself permission to free up your mind against what has been done to you. And when I read that, I totally disagreed, I thought I was justified to hold on to my anger towards this person.
It took me a few months for me to digest what I read from the book and I learnt that by not moving past that memory, is actually allowing that relative of mine to live, “rent-free” in my brain for that long. Not only that, it was affecting my life. The anger and frustration were creeping into my life, affecting my family life as well.
So I worked on that issue for quite a bit, actually. I worked on my feelings and I told myself that it is only right that I want to move on from this and so that was how I started. So right now, if you ask me what had happened in the past when I was being molested, I can definitely tell you the details, but do I feel any angst over it? No, I don’t, because I have already settled that part and I think that that is the greatest gift I can give myself, to allow myself to move forward and release all the feelings.
I will talk about another part on forgiveness before I move on to the oils in this blend. The other thing I want all of you to know, is that whether you are a mother, or not a mother, or maybe a parent, the thing is this, a lot of us are the hardest on ourselves. So forgiveness is something that I would want to apply to myself too. Let me tell you this, I am a guilt addict. For example, if anything goes wrong in my day, the first automatic reaction is to say “It’s my fault, what can I do to make it right?” And I realised that when I became a mother, the tendency to take on guilt actually magnified and that I learnt it from my mother.
Taking on the guilt bring with it feelings of regret, frustration and resentment. Let me give you an example, probably a common example that parents experience as well.
So when I go out with my friends, when I have a social life and have a good time, a lot of times, I feel a lot of guilt. “Why am I not at home with my family and kids? Why I am not there for my kids? I should be the one that is putting them to sleep and not my husband. I am a mother right, a mother has everlasting love for her children.” So with the resentment and frustration that came with that guilt. I will think that I’m not a good enough mother and when I try to be the mother that I hold as the ideal in my mind, the resentment and frustration comes in. “Oh I don’t have enough selfcare for myself. Oh I don’t have time for myself, I have no time to work out as well.” For myself right, that is how I use the Forgiveness oil.
My husband Jon has said this to me before and it has hit me right in the solar plexus, “Faith, do you know you’re very hard on yourself?” And it shocked me because I didn’t realise that. So for all you mothers out there, if you’re like me and you take on all the guilt and you’re very hard on yourself, if you beat yourself up, “I should have done this for my kids. I should have done that for my work.” Please don’t. Everyone of us over here are so deserving of love, blessings and forgiveness for ourselves.
So those are 2 stories around forgiveness, guilt and traumatic memories from my past. Let’s now go on into the properties of the oil itself. Forgiveness is a blend, and if you look at your essential oil resources, whether it’s the pocket reference or the mobile app, you will realise that there are so many, so many oils inside. There is easily about 10 oils inside but the one that really stuck out for me, are actually the lady oils, like Rose, Jasmine and Melissa. And when I read through the properties of each oil and looked at why Gary Young put those oils into this blend, it made perfect sense.
First and foremost, Rose. When you talk about the frequency of the oils, Rose is formally recognised as the one of the highest frequency. I know it’s in debate now that it might actually be Idaho Blue Spruce with a higher frequency, but in terms of formal documentation, it’s Rose. If you have never tried Rose, I suggest you go and rob, beg, steal, borrow Rose oil and try it. Somehow it really lifts up a person. I know that whenever I feel down, the smell of Rose really just lifts me up. When my child is cranky and really nothing else works, not Tranquil, not Peace and Calming, not Lavender, my husband who loves Rose so much, actually uses Rose on them and they calm down pretty darn quickly. With Rose’s high frequency, it invites love and joy into your life. So if you’re working through forgiveness and you are trying to work through the memories that hurt, and the negative emotions, that’s what Rose is for, in the Forgiveness blend.
The second oil is Jasmine, because sometimes if you’re grappling with letting go of things, you might feel helpless. Jasmine, besides being emotionally balancing, also helps one to work through the helplessness and invites you to take back the power in your life
The third lady oil is Melissa. I don’t know if you’ve heard me talking about Melissa before but when I was at the Young Living farm, that was the St Marie’s Farm at Idaho. Gary came and told the story of Melissa. If you look at the price tag of Melissa at the Young Living office, you will realise that after Rose, Melissa is the second highest priced oil. Melissa, also known as Lemon Balm, is a very delicate oil. When Melissa is being planted and harvested, it is an oil that demands everyone to treat her like a lady. And what I mean is that, when the farm workers are planting and harvesting the Melissa plant, they must be very mindful to be courteous to one another, they must not pick fights or use vulgar language because things like that actually affect the yield of the Melissa oil. And already the yield of the oil is very low, you’re talk about tons and tons of plants to give you that small bottle of oil.
Another thing is that, for Melissa, when the farm workers harvest the plant, they cannot put the plant down on the ground before gathering everything up to bring to the distillery. They have to cut it and bring it straight to the distillery because no lady wants to be put down on the ground as it actually decreases the yield too.
Other stuff like how Melissa is a plant that has to have people around her during certain times of the day, and how she doesn’t like to be out in the hot sun like a lady with very delicate skin so she wants to be there only in the early morning. So because of the amount of resources and dedication that has to be put into cultivating this plant, it has driven up the cost of the Melissa oil.
So if you’re ever lucky enough to score a bottle of Melissa, use it! I can’t really go into the other properties of Melissa because it’s not FDA compliant but I invite you to read your Essential Oil References to really learn more about it. It’s really darn good.
Negative emotions are actually stored in the limbic system and the limbic brain. The only way, if I’m not mistaken, that can unlock and release the negative emotions stored in the limbic brain is actually through scent and smells. That’s the reason why the oils are so powerful, because they actually work by going through the nose to reach the limbic system.
If you look at the other oils in this blend like Frankincense and Sandalwood, these are the oils that actually work on your pineal gland and limbic system to release the memories as you don’t want these to be stored in your brain. A lot of times, when we store such emotions in ourselves, it actually leads to illnesses. If I’ve a chance next time, I will share with you the story of my abscess, I just went through surgery and I’m finally done with the stitches. I will also explain to you why I would say that it came from negative memories as well. So I would encourage you all, if you are going through something like this, please work through your emotions, memories and and feelings. Use the oils, talk to somebody, journal in your book, because I think that everyone of us is very deserving of living a beautiful, lovely and blessed life.
I think that’s about it, actually. I know it’s a really odd oil to choose for Mothers’ Day and for happy mothers but I do think that when we work through our stuff, we are happier! And you know what? Our children will also benefit from forgiveness too.
Happy Mother’s Day!
How do you apply Forgiveness?
You see right, for me, anything to do with emotions, I would say just apply on your forehead, on the back of your neck and you can put it over your chest. But the pocket reference book says you can diffuse, directly inhale, add 2-4 drops to bath water, or you can apply 1-2 drops behind the ears, wrists, neck, temples, navel or the solar plexus. Or even over the heart. You can also dilute it if you want to, but I don’t. So that’s how you can apply it.
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